Author : Richard Duncan
Which is more important what we want or how we proceed to get it? Judging by the way most folks act I'd have to say that they think the ends are more important. Makes sense to me.We learn it young. Watch kids. A willful 2 year is without much natural restraint about how he goes about getting he wants, usually something or someone to do something for him. Yelling and screaming, if rewarded by a caregiver, can become a standard mode of operating, especially in public places. He will gladly take advantage of a parent's embarrassment to get his way.Parents teach their kids about what are acceptable means. Lying, cheating, stealing, etc are not the right ways. Some kids get it better than others. Yet the focus of the child is still the end, just with limits to the means to get it.As adults most folks still think the same way. We want things and we figure out how to get them. I don't think of us really spend much time thinking why we want these or even if it makes sense to obtain them. Everyone seems to desire more money and more possessions. I presume they think those things will make them happier. But are rich people happier than those with less money? Not generally.We are goal oriented, and we are accustomed to wanting things or people. What if we alter our goal orientation to the means instead the ends? That's hard to imagine, but it can be done. It's called virtuous living, and it is what religion teaches us . I'm not aware of any world religion that preaches the virtue of materialism or manipulation. They teach us how to act properly and that virtuous behavior will be rewarded. I believe virtuous behaviour is rewarded. Virtuous people always seem happier with their lives.It's challenging to stop thinking like a 2 year old. Our modern world makes it particularly difficult. There is very little money to be made on your good behavior, but there are literally billions of dollars to be made selling goods and services. Advertising tries to get us to adopt a product or service as a worthy goal for our lives. And advertising works. Practically everyone wants a nice car, a big home, and a vacation on a beautiful beach. How many people spend much time thinking about they could be more honest, not appearing more honest but being more honest even if no one else knows about it?Maybe as people get older they start to realize the false promise of advertising and start to shift their focus to the rewards of good behavior. Wouldn't it be great if we could stop acting like kids when we turn 3 instead of 70. How do we teach our kids that good behaviour can lead to happiness better than that new toy? Tough job.Richard Duncan is a real estate lawyer who enjoys reading and thinking about life. He has a blog at houselovehome.wordpress.com/
Keyword : life love parenting virtue
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