What it Takes to Get What You Want

Author : Kenneth Wallace
You have no doubt heard that there is a sequence of preparation that must be
followed in the pursuit of personal and professional development. If you want to
have something in your life then you must do something to get it; but you can't do
what is necessary if you aren't the kind of person who possesses the character that
will issue in the appropriate behavior that will eventually bring what you want into
your life. The sequence, then, is "be, do, have:" You must be the person who can do
what it takes to have what you want.The Three Types of DesireHow do you get to be the kind of person who acts in the ways necessary to get
what you want? It all begins with desire. This is not the desire to have nor is it the
desire to do. These two types of desire are always secondary to and dependent
upon the primary desire to be the kind of person who possesses appropriate and
realistic desires to have and to do. You may desire to have something that is
incommensurate and inconsistent with the kind of person you are right now. This
means that you want something you cannot have because you are personally
unprepared to do what is necessary to get it. If, however, by some stroke of good
fortune you do obtain it you will not be able to hold onto it for very long. You
cannot perform for very long beyond the level of competence and worthiness you
have mentally set for yourself; nor can you retain for long that which you have
obtained in a manner you believe to be beyond your competence and worthiness.
You will unconsciously seek ways to sabotage enjoyment and beneficial use of your
"ill-gotten" gains.If you want to have something you must also want to do what it takes to get it.
We all have had desires to be rich and famous but many of us are neither because
we haven't become the kind of person who overcomes natural laziness and self-
doubt to be able to act consistently and persistently in ways that will turn these
desires into realities in our lives.Who do you want to become? If you were to answer, "I want to be a person who
is rich," or "a person who is respected by all," what you would be saying is that you
want to be a person who has acted and continues to act in certain ways throughout
his/her life that results in the manifestation of personal wealth and universal
respect. Our role models set the bar for our personal aspirations and "be goals" but
they don't always help us understand what we need to do to become that kind of
person. How did they get to be the kind of person we want to be? Our "do goals"
must arise out of and be aligned with our "be goals" if we are to become the person
who has everything he/she wants in life.To paraphrase a popular phrase ("if it is to be it is up to me"): "if I am to be (the
person I want to be) it is up to me (to do what it takes)." A "do goal" that doesn't
help you accomplish your "be goals" will not long hold your desire to accomplish it.
In fact, such "do goals" serve only to hinder and frustrate your efforts to discover
and fulfill your personal purpose in life. This kind of "do goal" is the epitome of
activity without accomplishment: much movement in multiple directions but never
getting very far from where you started. These non-aligned "do goals" drain you of
the energy needed to accomplish worthy and worthwhile goals – the ones that will
get you what you want. If you are to be the kind of person you want – the kind of
person who makes dreams and desires come true – then it is up to you to align your
"do" and "be" goals. Think of this endeavor as being the Sinatra Step: set and
pursue "do-be, do-be, do-be" goals for the rest of your life. And "That's Life!" *
(see end of this article for lyrics)The Quality of Desire and Effective ChangeIt is a truth of human existence that you receive in proportion to the strength and
duration of your desire. On a scale of 1 to 10, if your desire for something is below
a nine and you haven't experienced it for very long it is unlikely that you will think
and do what it takes to bring it into your life.You see, we have habits of thinking, called attitudes, which cause us to do and
not do certain actions on a consistent basis. These habits of behavior keep us in a
zone of psychological comfort that, in turn, limits our performance and life to a
narrow range of possibilities. To get something we want we must often confront our
comfort and challenge our habits. This means entertaining the possibility that we
might need to change what we think and do that we find natural, comfortable and
comforting. We must have a strong and enduring desire to do what works to get
what we want even if this means changing how we currently think and behave. The
desire to be the kind of person who does and has certain things necessarily results
in continuous change. Life is the process of constant transition from one state of
being to another. The axiom is true: "change is inevitable, growth is optional." The
desires to have and to do must be linked with the desire and activity to continually
change yourself for the better.Three Ways to Change for the BetterI find the following three words helpful when thinking about changing anything
about myself: stay, stop, start. Getting what you want sometimes is a matter of
staying with what you're thinking and doing now, perhaps to a greater or lesser
degree of intensity and/or frequency. It could also mean stopping what you're doing
and thinking now that pose real or imagined barriers to receiving what you want.
Finally, getting what you want could mean starting a new way of thinking that will
lead to new behaviors that invite your desire to manifest itself in your life as an
everyday reality.Changing yourself for the better begins at the end. Visualizing yourself as the
person who exhibits those characteristics and traits you desire and possessing the
things you want establishes in your mind the foundation upon which you will
construct your "better life." Getting clear on what you need to continue doing, stop
doing and start doing is the primary exercise to help you form, fine-tune and finish
the vision of your better Self.The Source of Desire and Its AccomplishmentOur desires arise and are defined as we grow and experience life and seem to
always be tied to talent and personality. Desire, then, is an intimate expression of
who we see ourselves to be and what we think we're capable and worthy of. A
strong desire indicates a self-image that sees real possibility for turning that
individual desire into personal reality. Strong and persistent desire is the means of
motivation (that is to say, the motive to take action) through and beyond habitual
ways of thinking and behaving. When your desire is strong and persistent, all kinds
of exciting and surprising ways to achieve it arrive at the doorstep of your mind.Many of the ideas that occur to you do so without much, if any, conscious effort
on your part. It is as if these thoughts about how to achieve the desires of your
heart are simply "given" into your mind. Just as God created, according to the Book
of Genesis in the Judeo-Christian Bible, the heavens and the earth "out of nothing,"
so, too, creative ideas and innovative notions that will get you to where you want to
go seem to appear out of nowhere. From this point of view, it appears that the
Creator not only gives you the enduring noble and aspirant desires of your heart but
also provides the means to achieve them – your great and creative thoughts that, if
held long enough and strong enough, produce on both the conscious and
unconscious levels of your mind the motivation to move in the precise directions of
your dreams.SummaryTo make any improvements in your life you must first possess a desire to
possess that which you deem to be an improvement over what you're experiencing
now. However, desire in and of itself is not sufficient to create the motivation to
actually do what is necessary to improve. The desire must be of sufficient strength
and duration in order to create the internal environment that moves the soul to
move the body into the kind of action that will realize what is desired. Such desire
stems from the kind of person you are. The kind of person you are determines
what you can do to make your desires happen.The issue, then, is not how to get desire if you don't have it or how to fan the
flames of your current desires into more effective means of motivating yourself to
take action. Rather, it is a matter of examining the person you are and what person
is needing to emerge that will result in the appropriate desires that, in turn, result in
the appropriate thoughts and actions that will bring everything you want into your
life.* That's Life!By Frank Sinatra, 1966That's life (that's life), that's what all the people say
You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June
I said that's life (that's life), and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' aroundI've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up and get back in the raceThat's life (that's life), I tell you I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd flyI've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get back in the raceThat's life (that's life), that's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothin' shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball a-and dieMy, my!Ken Wallace, M. Div., CSL has been in the organizational development field since
1973. He is a seasoned consultant, speaker and executive coach with extensive
business experience in multiple industries who provides practical organizational
direction and support for business leaders. A professional member of the National
Speakers Association since 1989, he is also a member of the International
Federation for Professional Speaking and holds the Certified Seminar Leader (CSL)
professional designation awarded by the American Seminar Leaders Association.Ken is one of only eight certified Business Systems Coaches worldwide for General
Motors.His topics include ethics, leadership, change, communication & his unique Optimal
Process Design® program.Tel:(800)235-5690 Claim your free eBook, "How to Do Better Than Your Best in
Anything You Do" by visiting the