Author : Shirley Ann Parker
When a married couple breaks up, it is not just their own future that has changed. It is not even "just" their children's future that has been irrevocably altered. Both sets of parents, if living, can be wounded. The brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews are hurt. The future grandchildren's lives will unroll down different paths than what was expected. In fact, the reality is that the grandparents will probably not even see them for years at a time.The shock of the divorce to the couple's friends can be emotionally intense, with a social network now creaking on one hinge, like a broken gate. Even plans for retirement activities together are now crushed. It's highly likely that one or both partners in the divorce were in such pain themselves that they gave little thought to what the impact would be on everyone around them. They probably gave no thought at all to the fact that friends would now be caught in the middle of a no-win situation.It is hoped that the couple did consider younger children. Too many times, it becomes obvious that even that did not happen. However, the parents should have agreed ahead of time not to use the innocent as weapons in their ongoing war with each other.That said, when the divorce is initiated by one spouse to escape the abuse that has been inflicted on him or her by the other, it does not matter what other people think!! While inflicting more pain was not planned, it does not matter whose feelings are hurt, or how many lectures are delivered by so-called counselors. No one should have to endure a relationship that is tearing them apart, or destroying who they are. Even so, circumstances sometimes leave no choice for the foreseeable future.Those who marry and divorce multiple times do so for a multitude of complex reasons, few of which really have much to do with love. Instead, they remarry due to money problems, loneliness, or lust, the same reasons our greatgrandparents got married again, after the death of a spouse. Likewise, those who stay in a first bad marriage for decades do so for emotional and practical considerations. Eventually, someone burns out. For some, getting divorced or separating is an abrupt decision, triggered by one last straw.None of us know when we might find ourselves in that very situation.© 2006 Shirley Ann ParkerShirley Ann Parker is a full-time technical writer and the author of Discoveries: A Journey Through Life, available through http://www.bbotw.com, as well as Amazon. Shirley prefers to write about the positive side of life and the small miracles in the worlds that dart all around us. However, she is no stranger to the worlds of divorce and non-divorce, or the unending ripple effects of both in everyone's lives. Those ripples of unhappiness are undermining our nation and our world, and we need to fight the forces that are tearing society apart. Visit her website at http://www.shirleyannparker.com or her blog at http://shirleyscornerdesk.shirleyannparker.com to learn more about her world of writing.
Category : News-and-Society:Divorce
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